“Everything is by Divine Providence.
If a leaf is turned over by a breeze,
It is only because this has been specifically ordained
by God to serve a particular function
within the purpose of creation.”
-- Baal Shem Tov
As a child I often felt unloved and alone. Since I was surrounded by sisters, parents and expanded family constantly coming and going it didn’t always make sense. I was never sure of my place or my role.
“This leaf turned over by a breeze” sent me deeply into therapy seeking relief and inner harmony that was hard fought for with many years of seeking. Then the “particular function” of this lonely, unloved feeling began to open into a new pathway. It opened me to a sense of meaning in my humanness. I began trusting my life and in divine providence leading me through the events of my unfolding life.
The most recent leaf that turned over for me was heart bypass surgery. A complete surprise showing itself only with a shortness of breath during my vacation! I am 4 weeks past surgery now and can honestly say I have felt no fear and only trust in the Divinity of this particular unfolding.
During this ordeal I have felt nothing but love from others, belonging, and a place for me. The loving messages from over 800 people, the constant inflow of food and cards has reassured and validated who I am and faith in my purpose is continuing to unfold.
At times I feel better than I have in years. Still shaky physically but hopeful and excited about the future. I truly trust that I am living a specifically ordained function that is ordained by God. I believe I am participating within my purpose of creation.
So many thanks to all of you for participating with me in this unfolding.
Founder & Executive Director, The Estuary