As a good minister’s daughter, I am not supposed to be asking this question but believe me, I have asked it and asked it a lot, even as recently as a few weeks ago.
I have a firm faith that there is a God. I believe that I am created in the image of that God. I believe that God loves me. But I have struggled to believe that God answers prayers. Which is so weird considering I am pretty big on praying. I do it a lot. At times I have felt God is “up there” just listening away but not moving an inch. Other times, I have thought that I was just talking to myself. And sometimes, I actually thought I was “getting thru.”
What I have learned in the last few weeks is that God IS answering my prayers but I am not paying attention to the answers. You’ve heard the phrase, God moves in mysterious ways, right? Well, I am starting to learn there isn’t so much mystery involved but it’s more about being receptive on my part to all the possible answers.
So now I am paying attention to all the small details in my life and I am starting to see God fully present in them. I am realizing that all these add up. Even things as small as a sentence being said or me feeling like I need to walk into a different room. God is answering my prayers, one little small step at a time and not always with a “Yes” but with a “I’ve got you and I love you.”
I will keep praying. I will keep looking. And I will keep learning to believe one prayer at a time.
Jenny Emerson, LMFT, LMT