Reflections of an Alumni, by Susan Beyler

I started with the School of Healing Arts at The Estuary in 1994 – the first class; H1 - Auric Healing (it was called ‘Finding Your Gifts’).  It was to be an 8 week course.  I don’t remember the exact number there the first night; somewhere around 13? More?

By the second night of class, we had lost half.  It wasn’t because of abilities or personalities – it was because it was clear from the first class that this was going to require a level of commitment that was larger than going to a series of lectures and remembering stuff.  Three of us graduated in 1997.

This first class is why I persisted.  I observed and experienced Susan - fully present and communicating with each person on levels I didn’t know anything about but were very familiar – familiar in a cellular, beyond-knowing, tickling a part of me that hadn’t shown her face to the world in a long long time – and I wanted more! 

Starting a journey that seems universally human but only done by choice – a mythological symbolic transforming uncontrollable journey that I had hungered for a long long time.

The first year was exhausting but sparkly – so much to take in, such an amazing world.

The second year was like dropping a precious thing into moving water and having to dive deep, sightless, just feeling the mud and the ooze and then grasping it, bringing it to the surface, polishing it and dropping it again.

The third year I began to feel precious and started the tadpole journey of swimming in muddy water, but I find longer moments of enjoying the swim – every sensation experienced is my life – precious.

In writing my vows, I retrieved a quote from a book that I first read many years ago, but have reread many times – ‘The Fifth Sacred Thing’ (fire, air, water, earth, spirit)

The essence of the quote is “I thought being a healer meant giving and giving, but I have come to understand that to be a healer is to fill myself up until I overflow into my life”.

Embracing this quote into my life has been transformative, challenging, rewarding, painful and joyful – sometimes all at the same time/space.

In closing this, I’d like to include a poem I wrote the year after graduation:

3/15/98
At the beginning of this journey
the colors were so bright
the dreams so full
the visions were so clear
the imagination was so astounding
the concepts so brilliantly simple
the metaphors so poignant
Surprise!!
that was just the brochure
my soul’s marketing plan
to bring me to this place.
I haven’t had a vision in a long time
now I have to live the concepts
the metaphors have to be seriously searched for
and the colors are ordinary.
It’s OK.
I’m grounded.
I’m on the path.

 

Susan Beyler
615-337-7017
susanbeyler@theestuary.org