I was an anxious and worried child. That anxiety and worry followed me into my adulthood so I developed an inner ritual to wrap myself in safety.
As a young woman I loved to camp and backpack. Lying in my tent in the woods listening to the night sounds with the world far away I felt held, protected, and safe. My tent had become a temple, a kiva, a sacred place of safety.
Often as a child sharing a very small bedroom with my two sisters, my youngest sister pressed against my back, I would imagine my middle sister in the small bed next to ours held in my arms in front of me and we would be wrapped in safety and security; Like the tent in my later years.
Today, that anxiety and worry still follows me. However, I have a new “tent”. My spiritual study 30 years ago began with a search for escape and answers to “fix” me and the worldly things creating anxiety. I believed surely there were answers and all things could be rectified. The text book model for an adult child of an alcoholic family.
Instead of answers, I learned to “wrap” myself in a trust in something bigger than myself and to rest in acceptance. My tent has become a veil of deep comfort and soothing.
As I fall asleep as night I bring those I love into this tent of soothing comfort with me and I rest. My husband, my daughters and grandsons, my family and… many of you have been in there with me too as you went through life difficulties and health traumas you were sharing with me.
This is a wonderful tent of safety and soothing trust. There is room for all of us in here.