When I was a young girl, Lent seemed to be about giving up something that gave you joy. I embraced the discipline of sacrifice. As I became older, it lost any impact.Read More
The Estuary Blog
Throughout their work and lives, our staff and friends of The Estuary become inspired and do some occasional inspirational writings. We have created this blog for them to share their thoughts, writings, and feelings with you.
Please feel free to offer your comments at any time and joining us in this journey through life. You can do this by clicking the link below each article. To access previous articles, click the dates in bold on the calendar to the right.
I meditated the other day, like several times. Granted I was attending a meditation immersion weekend, but that’s beside the point.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve meditated, but it was definitely the first time with a group of strangers and with a soft man voice guiding the way. That man voice was real as it was the voice of the man leading the weekend. We’ll call him Danny – mainly because that’s his name. He was awesome, by the way. He knows things. I guess that’s why all of us strangers paid lots of money to listen to both his voice and to his advice, or wisdom, rather.Read More
This is a love letter.
A love letter to my husband, to my family, to The Estuary Staff and to our clients.
Every moment I spend thinking of you, talking with you, helping you, laughing with you is a lovely relational act where you become present to me and I am present with you. I gaze at the space between us as I look into the eternal You. Every breath of US is an eternal breath of You and Me.
It’s 4:30 in the morning. Actually it’s 4:33, but who’s counting?
Obviously, I am.
I’d love to be able to tell you that I’m up because I’m committed to my yoga, or that I just finished my hour-long meditation practice, but if you’ve read this post here, or if you have known me for more than a week, you know that anything that requires “practice” is not going to happen.Read More
Tuesday, Crying Again!
This morning I found my eighty-four-year-old mother sleeping with her legs hanging off one side of the bed. She has gotten much weaker and can't pull her legs up onto the bed anymore. She could last week, why not this week? She cries out in pain as I pull her to sitting position - I have to hold her back so she doesn't fall back on the bed. Everything with her is a chore - hard labor! I flinch when her pain makes her cry out. Her hip muscle has stretched from lying like that all night. I finally get her to her recliner and get some Tylenol down her throat. “Ouch, ouch, ouch, everything hurts” is the song she is constantly singing. I beg her to eat something but can only convince her to drink a little vitamin drink. So I sit down on the couch and my eyes well up with tears. I have a great urge to cry just like I cried yesterday morning. I don't know what to do and nobody else knows either. I am helpless and don't like being helpless - so I cry. I guess I am not the tough-guy I like to think I am.Read More
I was teaching a Kabbalah class last week and was especially moved by the delicious desire of this group to explore and find Truth. They were creative, curious and spiritually seeking. The clarity in the room was refreshing and restorative.Read More
I too frequently wake up in the middle of the night with my mind whirling in a thousand directions at once. That’s when I listen to podcasts. I am comforted by the drone of other voices other than my own lulling me back to sleep; unless, the podcast is interesting.Read More
Last month, my life partner and best friend passed away from a journey with cancer. Words cannot describe the pain and sorrow I feel constantly. The word "lost" best describes my life at this moment and I find myself walking around in circles hoping I will wake up from this dream state and my life will go back to normal. Unfortunately, reality says otherwise and my new life does not include the beautiful man that was a part of my life for the last seven years.Read More
"If you don’t become the ocean
You’ll be seasick everyday."
Everything has me confused and irritable.
Is it politics? Upcoming Holidays? Am I working too much?
Maybe, I’m not working enough?
I have no answers.