When I entered into the divorce process many years ago, I had no idea that the divorce would take a few years. And then, of course, there was co-parenting. It was a stressful time. I was in such uncharted territory that confusion and overwhelm became my constant companion. There was so much that was out of my control, but what I could control was ME.
I knew that I was in the race of my lifetime and just like any good athlete entering into competition I needed to be in tip top shape. Physically, emotionally, mentality, and spiritually.
The vision of an athlete preparing for the Big Race played over in my mind. How could I prepare myself for this? How could I make sure that I was ready for this marathon?
I knew that I needed to give my body the proper fuel that it needed. It was so easy to reach for processed food or chocolate when I was pressed for time or overwhelmed. But would that be what my body needed or merely what I desired? More often than not, I ate whole foods or like as I have always said – food in its most natural state. Whole foods were my rocket fuel that I needed and gave me strength and mental clarity, but trust me, there were many a night that I indulged in Starbucks Coffee Ice Cream! Let’s be honest, the occasional indulgence not only happens but is totally necessary. The key word is occasional.
I had so many emotions – sadness, worry, fear, and anxiety about the future. I turned to a coach that had walked this same path herself and worked with others in this very same stage of life. Having a mentor, guide and sounding board was incredibly valuable.
I read books on divorce and single parenting. Knowledge is power and I wanted to understand this new world that I had entered. I got plenty of sleep to keep my mind sharp and kept moving whether it be at the gym or going for a walk.
I spent time in quiet, either in nature or at my church. Just to sit in silence and ask for a higher power to guide me was lifesaving. Entering into wordlessness is powerful. Clarity and strength continued to show up when I was able to quiet the noise around me or in my head.
Whether you are entering into a divorce or the land of co-parenting, preparation and an athlete’s mindset are your best bets if you want to win this race. To do your best, you must be your best. One day at a time, one moment at a time.
So I ask you, what race are you entering or are currently in? Don’t burn out on the first lap, treat it like a marathon and you will finish strong!
Maureen Doyle, MAT
The Estuary, Inc.