Living a Stressful Life, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I am easily overwhelmed.

The long “To Do” lists of my life easily throw me into an anxious, overwhelmed helplessness.  It always seems that I am filled with anxiety, running powerlessly behind a bus that has just pulled away.  And I can’t catch it, or make the bus -- or me -- stop.

After a big surgery a couple of years ago the advice given to me was to cut down on stress.  "What a good idea!", I thought.  But for me, living a full life is stressful.  To slow life down leaves me restless, unfulfilled and...stressed!  Double bind.

Am I running from depression?  No, don’t think so.   I feel so alive and engaged.   I am not running as much as I am enjoying.  Am I addicted to always doing something? Some may think so, but I experience life as a plateful of deliciousness.  I love living it.

So instead of trying to anxiously catch the bus/life, or powerlessly let the bus/life pass me by, I am learning not to be victimized by stressful living.

I do what I can.  I don’t do what I can’t do.  I forget a lot of things I am suppose to be doing.  That’s me in life.

Instead of being victimized and helpless in my in my experience of stress and powerlessness I am teaching myself to be renewed by the wisdom inherent in every stressful moment.

I watch the busses go by.  I live my life.

 

Susan Austin-Crumpton
Founder & Executive Director, The Estuary
Email:   susanaustincrumpton@theestuary.org