Living Into the Answers, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I hated traveling as a child. 

It always felt like something terrible was going to happen to me or to whoever I left behind.  The anxiety was often unbearable.  I would throw up with motion sickness in the car, feel depressed when we arrived wherever we were going, and cry at every changing moment.  All I wanted was to go home. 

However, I also hated being home.  Home felt dangerous and unpredictable.  I kept busy and active and always doing something to deal with the anxiety.  I just wanted to get out of there and go.

I always kept bus money to my aunt's house hidden in my drawer for me and my sisters in case a fast escape was needed. (I later found out there was no bus route that went to my aunt's house!) 

I just couldn’t find home and peace. 

Luckily I found my way to adventure and learned to love traveling and moving around. I had a long distance romance for three years.  I went to school in NY for eight years.  I loved traveling and backpacking in the West. 

This same anxiety haunts me today as we prepare to move The Estuary offices to a new and beautiful home on June 16th.  I am circling with questions:   “What will it be like there?"; "I have traveled many roads with my students and clients here, will it be the same there?"; "How will we figure out to find 'home' at a new location?” 

As anxiety with staff, students and clients have grown, so have my questions. Then I came upon this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke: 

Love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms
Or books written in a foreign language. 
Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given
To you now, because you would not be able
To live them. 
And the point is to live everything. 
Live the questions now. 
Perhaps then, someday far in the future, 
You will gradually, 
Without even noticing it, 
Live your way into the answer. 


If I have learned nothing else in my life, it is that home is in living my way into the answers. The living provides the safety and constancy for which my heart and home longs.

Susan Austin-Crumpton
Executive Director & Founder
The Estuary, Inc.

Comment

Susan Austin-Crumpton

Susan Austin-Crumpton, Executive Director and Founder of The Estuary and The School of Healing Arts. Susan’s intention to be fully present and alive with passion and joy requires an authenticity that is her hallmark. Dedication to study and commitment to her clients and students provides The Estuary and the community involved with purpose and meaning not often found in traditional leadership. Susan Austin-Crumpton speaks of The Estuary as being like a wheel, with the staff being each of the spokes, the programs and services as the rim and she is the hub of energy and identity at the center. As the founder of The Estuary and The School of Healing Arts, she has developed the healing techniques and skills taught by the school and integrated into the individual practices of the staff. Susan’s leadership, innovative practice methods and classes have created the foundation of The Estuary and The School. Her varied career history as business owner, a teacher, and a psychotherapist, make her uniquely qualified to bring grounding to healing practices that originate outside the medical and psychological mainstream. Her techniques are truly complimentary to allopathic medicine and traditional psychotherapy, not in conflict with them, as is evidenced by the community support and acceptance over the past twenty years. As the primary teacher at The School of Healing Arts she combines the techniques of energy healing and psychology with Kabbalistic principles into her psychotherapy techniques that bring lasting change into the lives of those who work with her. She works with individuals and groups specializing in depression, anxiety, couples, health issues, addiction, and spiritual connection to life’s meaning and purpose. Susan has completed four years of study in healing science with The Barbara Brennan School of Healing Science and three years of study in Integrative Kabbalistic Healing with Jason Shulman's A Society of Souls. She also holds a degree in counseling psychology from the University of Louisville. She is a pastoral counselor ordained by The Estuary. Susan specializes in integrating transpersonal psychology with energy therapies effectively embodying the mind, body and spirit connection. She has been in private practice for 18 years serving individual processes, coupleship work, group experiences, and health related issues. She is the primary teacher at The School of Self Healing Arts and teaches transpersonal psychology, energy anatomy and therapies, world religion, and experiential therapy techniques. Susan is married and has two daughters and two grandchildren. She loves to study, to learn and grow personally and professionally, and is committed to the well being of her family, students and clients.