Life Force, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Life Force, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

It seems much of my life has been filled with meaningless activity.  In my younger years, without much of me to operate with, I tried to please as I was hoping for value and purpose.  I worked at jobs I hated, tried to stay in struggling relationships for the “sake of the children”, and was mediocre at parenting.

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Relationship With Myself, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Relationship With Myself, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I hate that I feel irritated and notice that the pictures hang crooked in my office and in my home. I wait in line at the grocery feeling none of the “goodness” of buying organic foods that others seem to be secretly smiling about.  I listen to a righteous diatribe about why “my smoking is not hurting anyone but myself” and I think of that person’s children, and parents, and spouse and friends.

I am judging, critical and negative.

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