I watched my husband play the Incredible Hulk in a psycho-drama workshop we did together many years ago. He startled me with his “acting” talent and ability, transforming from the kindhearted, tender man I knew him to be, when he appeared on set painted green and angry. Freedom and power exuded from every cell of his being. I felt joyful.
I wanted to feel THAT!
There was a moment, it’s difficult to say when it happened, the shackles of emotional self-restriction and identification fell away from me with the same fierceness and power represented by the Incredible Hulk. I discovered who I really was. I could feel it. I realized I had been hiding behind what was no longer working for me.
The façade fell away, I was no longer able to lie to myself for long about who I really am.
I began to hate playing games and indulging in illusions. I became honest with myself at the expense of losing everything.
Joe Dispensa says it best:
You know what? It doesn’t matter if I don’t make you happy any longer.
I’m through obsessing about how I look or what other people are thinking about me.
I’m finished living for everyone else.
I want to be free from these chains.
I’m thinking it rather strange what a Teacher/Healer like me is grateful for at this time of year.
I love my life, my work, my husband, my daughters, my grandsons, my family. But, I am fiercely in love with the truth I feel within myself at this stage of my life. I am filled with love and gratitude for the fruits of this journey and would not trade this authentic feeling for anything else.
I startle myself as the shackles of bondage fall away watching my rage and compliance rise up into yet another layer of being myself.
For this and all the other Blessings of my life I give thanks.
Executive Director & Founder
The Estuary, Inc.