The other day I was visiting at a friend’s house with several mutual friends. The cars piled up in her driveway and on the street. I decided I would brave it and park in a challenging spot next to her carport. It was one of those situations where I could get in but questioned myself on getting out.
During my visit, I mapped out in my head the 20- to 30-point turn I was going to have to make to get out of that spot. It literally was not going to require that but when I am in my head worrying about something, it usually gets exaggerated. My worry took over. Not only was I concerned that I couldn’t do it, but I was afraid that I would hit her fence or her carport railing or another person’s car. Even worse, what if someone saw me in my colossal fail? What if I got embarrassed??
While the clock ticked away and my mind worried and schemed, I missed part of the fun. I ended up not being fully present in the moment. I couldn’t tell you what funny jokes were told, who has what going on in their lives, or even what I ate while I was there. That’s what happens when you get lost in your head, you miss out on what is right in front of your face.
Finally, about half way through the evening, I submitted to the fact that I wasn’t going to be the one moving my car out of that spot. I realized that I could ask for help and that there was nothing wrong with that. When I settled into the place of living with what is then I didn’t have to struggle anymore. I didn’t have to worry, scheme, or plan. With that came great peace.
It’s the struggling that is painful. Asking for help is easy.
Grace to you as you let go of the struggle and allow yourself to ask for help.
Jenny Emerson, LMFT, LMT