Ending the Dysfunctional Gerbil Wheel of Relationships, by Larkin Oates, MA

You may exit the ride.

I occasionally wonder why some of us repeatedly date and/or marry the same type of person, despite evident angst within said relationships.

I found my answers recently, while listening to the audiobook, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I feel drawn to this book’s compelling offer of hope based on specific methods to break what can be arduous and painful relationship cycles.

Based on decades of research on human attachment styles, this book helps us identify how we all bond with partners. Apparently, we develop patterns of engaging that echo the sense of security we felt with our primary caregivers.

The premise is brilliant, and upon reading, so blatantly obvious that I would be surprised if Oprah has not already done a related show.

If you are curious about what type of person will meet your bonding needs, or want to know how to have more successful communication with a partner, I highly recommend this book.

Thanks to these writers, I might not get dizzy or experience the occasional nausea from my future relational patterns.


by Larkin Oates, MA
Integrative Therapist, The Estuary
(615) 945-8950


Larkin Oates, MA

Larkin is a Masters-level Counselor at The Estuary who uses an eclectic mixture of holistic therapies; from solution-focused to expressive; to address spiritual, mental, and physical health. Before her three-year Masters program, she was ordained after a three-year Auric Healing program at the Estuary. Larkin also became a Pastoral Counselor after the four-year Kabbalistic Healing program and internship at the School of the Healing Arts. For over fifteen years, Larkin has worked with healing through the arts. She aims to facilitate expression through art and/or journaling for clients who wish to explore their inner voice, find self-empowerment, or process issues. With a wellness focus in counseling, Larkin helps each client identify their strengths and discover choices as they move forward in their lives and relationships. Methods include: Cognitive-Behavioral, Experiential, Art, Narrative, and Existential therapies. When requested, Auric Healing, or energy work, is used to deepen other therapies or forms of treatment.