Ocean of Trust, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

"If you don’t become the ocean
You’ll be seasick everyday."
     -Leonard Cohen

Everything has me confused and irritable.
Is it politics?  Upcoming Holidays?  Am I working too much?
Maybe, I’m not working enough?
I have no answers.
I want everything fixed!  Settled!  Calm!  Certain!
That’s it!  I want everything certain and stable.
My distorted belief is that I will be safe then.
It never happens.
I read an introduction to a book by John Sanford where he describes his childhood home and how they drank pure delicious water from a well on their property.  It was wonderful, clean artesian water that dripped sparkling, beautiful water.

One-day city water came with pipes and bills.  They switched over from the water they had to carry, to water from a faucet.  Many years passed.
Then he returned to the old home place to open the old well and taste that delicious water again.  But lo and behold the well had completely dried up.   Seems that an artesian well needs to be continually drawn from in order to continue to work, to provide.  When it is not used it forms crystals and gets blocked up.

Hmmmm . . . As a lover of metaphor here it is.

What is it in me that I am not using?  What am I not receiving from the Universe that keeps my spirit clean and sparkling?  I believe I have an answer that works for me.

It is a trusting, curiosity that drips throughout my daily life, and myself, that has proven over and over again that even when things seem bad and not working out, something is changed for the better.  Even if it seems to get worse at first, I must always use hindsight to prove this to myself.  I can never see it in the now.  It’s the looking back . . .finding the truth, learned or developed, that reassures and calms me in the present moment.
I am finding that part of myself dripping toward the ocean of truth and hope trying to avoid the irritability of being seasick and lost at sea once again!
For this belief I am grateful.

Susan Austin-Crumpton
Executive Director & Founder
The Estuary, Inc.