Finding Peace, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Paradoxically, I have found peace because I have always been dissatisfied.  My moments of depression and despair turn out of be renewals, new beginnings, . . .  All life tends to grow like this, in mystery inscaped with paradox and contradiction, yet centered, in its very heart, on the divine mystery.
— Thomas Merton

It feels like as an elder in this community, I am being called upon to hold on even more tightly to the inner unity I have already found, rather than convincing others that I am right politically and socially.
It is disturbing to me to experience the violence and meanness that is so prevalent in the political world.  I don’t understand the divisiveness of racism, sexism, xenophobia etc.
I am a Christian who has been immersed for many years in Mystical Kabbalah that is so closely tied with Rosicrucian and Buddhist beliefs in inner and outer unity and oneness.
I grew up with Catholic education for twelve years.  I don’t recognize anything I was taught in the Christianity that has been hijacked by the media to divide us and teach us hate.  I still don’t hear divisiveness when I go to mass, or read lovely books on faith or even intelligent atheism.   Those kindly masters teach unity and love. 
So what is happening when we have the lack of face to face on social media?  Are we bullies like our leaders who speak hate freely online but never face-to-face?  Where is human love and compassion then?
Reading Thomas Merton reminds me that the work I am called to do at this point is the work of inner silence.  Inner unity and peacemaking with myself is the answer to peace for the world.
It does no good to call for oneness and unity in our communities if I am immersed in self hate and divisiveness inside myself.
The inner work required here is to embody my dissatisfaction, despair and depression, wash it in mercy and grace, center it in a heart filled with loving kindness for myself as well as for all of you.

Susan Austin-Crumpton
Executive Director & Founder
The Estuary, Inc.