I Am A Mystic, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

“All things must come to the soul from its roots
From where it is planted"

                                  ― Saint Teresa of Avila

I am a mystic.

That sounded so exotic and important when I was younger. The only problem is I didn’t know what that was or how to get there. So, I studied, read and took classes.
The great mystics of the world like St Theresa of Avila or St John of the Cross seemed exotic and transformed mystics. As I studied their works, I knew they suffered greatly and didn’t seem to mind. St Teresa was very ill and yet had wonderful experiences of Oneness and Unity. St John spoke of “The Dark Night of the Soul” and I certainly knew that place but only felt alone and separate.

So, if I am a mystic for real how did I get there? What does it mean? Am I any happier or only ego driven to feel special?  

Here’s what I know. A mystic is a person who seeks. That’s me. A mystic is someone who contemplates self-absorption into a spiritual oneness often found to be always present within oneself. I’m learning that one.
Here is what I believe about how to achieve that contemplative desire to be absorbed into a transcendental Unity. I had to learn how to be self reflective!

Self-Reflective does NOT mean entering into a loop of self-denigrating thoughts such as “I am wrong”, “My boss hates me”, “It’s not my fault, it’s always someone else to blame”. Those are simply unhealthy, untrue thoughts that create beliefs and feelings of unworthiness instead of helping me feel whole and uplifted.

Also, self reflective does NOT mean untrue thoughts of grandiosity such as “I am better than anyone else” or “I know more than others”. These thoughts simply create ego driven feelings of separateness and superiority that are brief and not sustainable or real.
Self-Reflective means looking inward in a way that is an emotional experience of SELF. This is not thought driven emotion. For example, Imagine standing on a beach and feeling one with everything. Now notice you are feeling that emotion of ONENESS! That’s self reflective.
When I practice this beach meditation I am inching my way toward a sensation I experience as Oneness with the Divine and is sustaining, uplifting and repeatable.

Guess you might say I’m a mystic in training. Join me in this joyful training exercise this year.

Happy New Year to ALL!

Susan Austin-Crumpton
   Executive Director & Founder
   The Estuary, Inc.