Another School of Healing Arts graduation is upon us. At each graduation, students recite their own personal vow that they developed from what they have learned at our school. The following is staff member Jenny Emerson's vow from her graduation from our Kabbalah program in 2011.
"What I have learned in Kabbalah is that I am like a cake. You see, I start out in Asiyah with all my parts laid out on a counter like the ingredients of a cake. There is separateness here. The eggs, the flour, the water, etc. they don’t touch. Just like my sense of humor doesn’t want to be near my angry side. Here I struggle to manage and control myself. Make all my parts behave, only showing certain ones to certain people.
Then the master chef mixes all these ingredients together. It isn’t fun becoming a wet, sticky, gooey batter. But that isn’t the worst part. Baking, in that hot oven that is Yezteriah, going through one freaking growth opportunity after another. All the while, being married to my suffering and believing that my ingredients are not good enough.
Finally, I am brought out into Briah where I experience the closest thing I will ever know of oneness. The eggs can no longer be distinguished from the flour. My loving heart has no greater value than my nasty psychopath. They both just are.
Ahh, Briah is great but it is not where I reside. For me to fully experience this life my soul signed up for, I have to take this experience of oneness back down to Assiyah. So here I go back through Yetzirah experiencing the knife cut through my fully baked cake, cutting through what I believe is a fully baked me. It’s scary again. Doubts and fears are still here. My suffering hasn’t left this emotional landscape.
But I get in Assiyah, I get in my life, I get in my relationships and I live. For what good is a cake if it is not eaten? What good is my life if I am not present in it?"
Jenny Emerson, LMFT, LMT