Sharing My Vision, by Lynn Bartrum

Sharing My Vision, by Lynn Bartrum

I’ve been holding onto a secret these past nine years, and feel it is time to come clean.  

In the fall of 2009, my husband Thomas and I were staying overnight in Louisville, as we were moving our daughter back to Nashville the next day.  She had recently graduated from college and was moving back home. As we settled down to sleep that night, I had been reading A Course in Miracles, and was lying awake, staring out into the dark room, thinking.  Suddenly I experienced a vision - I was so confused!  

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Love Letter, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Love Letter, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

This is a love letter.

A love letter to my husband, to my family, to The Estuary Staff and to our clients.
 
Every moment I spend thinking of you, talking with you, helping you, laughing with you is a lovely relational act where you become present to me and I am present with you. I gaze at the space between us as I look into the eternal You. Every breath of US is an eternal breath of You and Me.

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Life Force, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Life Force, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

It seems much of my life has been filled with meaningless activity.  In my younger years, without much of me to operate with, I tried to please as I was hoping for value and purpose.  I worked at jobs I hated, tried to stay in struggling relationships for the “sake of the children”, and was mediocre at parenting.

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Relationship With Myself, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Relationship With Myself, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I hate that I feel irritated and notice that the pictures hang crooked in my office and in my home. I wait in line at the grocery feeling none of the “goodness” of buying organic foods that others seem to be secretly smiling about.  I listen to a righteous diatribe about why “my smoking is not hurting anyone but myself” and I think of that person’s children, and parents, and spouse and friends.

I am judging, critical and negative.

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Making a Commitment, by guest blogger David Saffold

The following is my third entry in a series about the 12-step spiritual program of recovery.

Step 3:  “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
 
In Step 2 we came to believe (see previous blog), now we make a commitment.  Continuing our reading in The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, we find Step 3 in chapter 5 (How It Works) on page 63.  It takes the form of a prayer: “God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always.”  The wording is optional as long as it expresses the idea.  I find this to be a beautiful prayer and very effective when voiced with conviction.

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Who I Am, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Who I Am, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

“The Art of Connection is an energy and wisdom of the heart that includes personal vulnerability and will change the world.”

     - Miles Adcox, CEO, Onsite Workshops

I am often fearful of letting anyone hear who I truly am.  I open myself to the worst of all reactions from others… silence. There I write tragic and negative stories about the messages from the other person.

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