I was backpacking alone in Utah, carrying a huge pack on my skinny hips that looked like raw meat. I felt invincible, capable, with every step validating that there is nothing I can’t do. I loved it! That was many years ago.
"Sometimes shadows are the only light we see."
- Leo Kotke
It was my birthday.
I was at a Leo Kotke concert with my sweet husband and family. The guitar music poured over me with quiet joy and contentment. I was happy, the venue was just right, we were sitting almost in front, and it felt intimate and joyful.
As I travel through plush lemony woods, I trip on life’s lemons just like anyone else. Sometimes it is comically obvious I cannot see the citrus for the forest.
Recently, I have been so overwhelmed, it seems as if part of my brain is offline. I bump into furniture which I normally navigate unharmed, and I feel like I am functioning outside of the normal timeline. I strain to consider my choices in these lemony situations, and yearn to make the proverbial lemonade. However, my juice has no sweetener. I am worn to a nub, as is my partner. Although we are ‘cup half full’ people, our cup has a leak, and I feel our lives rapidly draining out of it.
Carrying a basket of striped sock monkeys and assorted stuffed animals, I grab my tea and enter the casual lounge space. The three people wait as I then settle into my seat. We gather here because one woman dared to ask for help when experiencing personal despair. Specifically, she asked us to facilitate an intensive daylong inward journey.