Wholeness

The Heart of The Estuary, by Lynn Bartrum

The Heart of The Estuary, by Lynn Bartrum

I was sitting in The Estuary classroom earlier today preparing for a class I was offering.  I must say, it’s one of my favorite places to be.  I could hear several voices in the hallway and in the office closest to the classroom, but I was alone in the classroom itself and it was quiet.  The sunlight was streaming through the blinds on the windows, gently illuminating the room.  I love this place.  It is a welcoming, healing place.  

Freedom, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Don’t cry, Susan
My mother said as many of yesterdays’ horrific events
fade back into the recesses of my being …
my tears dried.

Don’t feel, Susan
the world told me as a diverse and risking life continued to teach me
well into the depths of my adult life. . .
Numb became normal.

Stop! my body tries to tell me
as I cry and risk and go on
well into the best part of my life and my work.
I go on working. . .

Don’t be a woman of possibility,
a woman who says the f___ word,
obey the message
“ be nice”
the world says of my ability to say no
because I am a female.

Smile, don’t cry, be nice, talk nice
holds me in a self-made prison of my messaging ...
when
I want to roar, shout, cry, be hated and
most of all not be nice!

I hurl myself through the wall of messaging
Plunging into the
Wild wonderful world
Of freedom and excitement and possibility
Of creative identity named
ME.

Susan Austin-Crumpton
Executive Director & Founder
The Estuary, Inc.

Oneness of Belonging, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Oneness of Belonging, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

My mother died in 1995.

Yet her voice sounds in my mind over and over again with the same message from my childhood, adulthood and even after her death I still hear her saying, “Susan, don’t forget who you are!”

I Can Do Hard Things, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I Can Do Hard Things, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

“Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly,
Or do I choose to live and die in fear?”
                                                         Pema Chodron

I can do hard things.
 
I didn’t know that when I was younger. I thought it was all about being talented, special, and somehow gifted. I knew I was not those things. So, I believed I could not do hard and difficult things.

Do I Matter?, by Jacqueline DeSelms-Wolfe

Do I Matter?, by Jacqueline DeSelms-Wolfe

I received a postcard the other day. I was excited. I thought a friend had visited a cool and exotic place and had thought of me while there. 

Then I read it. 

Dear Jacqueline,

My name is Brent* and we don’t know each other. I have been praying for you morning and evening for the last 30 days. 

May the peace and goodness of the Lord be with you and all you love. 

Brent (Awaken Nashville)

At first, it confused me. Then a strange “invaded” sort of feeling came over me, not unlike I’ve experienced when something of mine has been stolen. That invaded feeling turned into anger.

I Am A Mystic, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I Am A Mystic, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

“All things must come to the soul from its roots
From where it is planted"

                                  ― Saint Teresa of Avila

I am a mystic.

That sounded so exotic and important when I was younger. The only problem is I didn’t know what that was or how to get there. So, I studied, read and took classes.

Truth Tellers, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

Truth Tellers, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I have been watching a special “comedy” routine by Hannah Gadsby. She is a wonderfully strong person who is intelligent, funny, well educated, and successful. She taught me lots about feeling connected in a way we all long for, beyond gender and power.
 

It Was Me All Along, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

It Was Me All Along, by Susan Austin-Crumpton

I was backpacking alone in Utah, carrying a huge pack on my skinny hips that looked like raw meat.  I felt invincible, capable, with every step validating that there is nothing I can’t do. I loved it! That was many years ago.

Who Are You Answering To? - by Maureen Doyle, MAT

Who Are You Answering To? - by Maureen Doyle, MAT

This year, let your true self plan for the year instead of letting others make that choice for you…

I ran a workshop earlier this year, Make it Happen in 2018!, and it was filled with enthusiastic participants. There was an energy that filled the room that was palpable. It seemed to say – “Look out 2018, here I come! This year is going to be big!”